When the Heart Squeezes

heart squeeze

This morning as I spent my morning habit of scrolling through the different blogs I follow in my reader, I read from Ann Voskamp. The grace that emulates from her words bring me to tears often. This morning was different though. She had a video clip at the bottom of her post that was 34 minutes long. At first I thought, that’s too long today, I have other things that need to be done (but what other things truly do NEED to be done).

I clicked on the video and out came a vivacious woman who spoke the words of truth and justice and grace….and my heart squeezed. You know that feeling when your listening to something that you’re passionate about and your whole body wants to respond with a resounding “YES!” That was my moment.

I’ve been a “housewife” for five months now and it’s been the best and hardest job change I’ve ever made. This woman who always needed to be on the move, talking with someone, helping someone, doing something…all of a sudden STOPPED. Yes, I still do a lot of things and I keep busy, but no one notices and no one applauds every time I clean the floor or finally get to the bathrooms. I feel like it’s been the best move and the hardest move all for the same reason. God made me pause. He allowed me to take a look at what I was living my life for, more like who was I living my life for…

I’m still on that journey of fighting to pause and learning how to be still before my Abba Father. I’m still learning how to listen to HIS call on my life. One of the questions that Christine Cain (founder of the A21 Campaign) posed in the video was “Are you willing to stay in the anonymity and obscurity of life so that God can prepare you to be used for the future generation?

Part of the “future generation” will by my children. I know that God is using this time to mold me into the woman, wife, and mommy He wants me to be for His glory. I also feel that God is using this time to shape how He wants me to use this next year and beyond, as I wait for our babies to come home. Will I battle my pride of being a “doer” or will I daily rest in the grace of Christ and say “Yes” to His kingdom work and “No” to the busyness of the world?

Do you feel like you are in a season of anonymity? How are you viewing this God-given season? Do you feel like God is squeezing your heart for his people? Know that I’m right there with you…

And here’s that video I mentioned…

Christine Cain-Liberty University Convocation