Five Minute Friday: In Between


These little shoes have little feet to fill them.  Those little feet are on the other side of the world, where my heart is.

We are living in the in between of not being parents and being parents. Every morning I wake up and wonder what our daughters had for lunch and if they are laughing and playing with their foster mom. Every night I pray that they are sleeping with full bellies and healthy bodies. Knowing who my daughters are, but not being able to care for them is just plain hard.

The in between stage for the majority women is a well defined 9 months. When people ask us how long we will wait, I go into a rehearsed speech of why it could be 7 months or why it will more than likely take at least a year for them to be in our arms and then explain that there is always the chance it may never happen. Every time my heart hurts when I speak those words.  I do not do well in the in between stages of life.

It’s here in the in between that I have found a deeper need, no a desperate need, to hold on to the One who holds time in His hands. He is the Only One who will be able to hold me in this season of longing for our daughters, to having in our arms and have our hearts filled with their presence. He is who I cry out to every morning, afternoon, and evening to be near our babies and to be near me.

I have found something special here. My loving heavenly Father is nearer now than ever.

In my in between.

Today I linked up again with Lisa-Jo Baker & her Five Minute Friday community. Every Friday a one word writing prompt is given and for five minutes you share your heart on what that word means to you.

Did you read my post where I shared my heart on the loss of our first referral? You can check it out here.

19 thoughts on “Five Minute Friday: In Between

  1. Sarah, would you mind if I used an abridged version of your story for my sermon on Sunday? I am writing about transitions and ‘in between times’ and your story might help make it more clear. God is so present in your journey, I’d love to share it if you’re okay with it. – Sarah Duffel

  2. Sarah –

    I love your picture! SO precious!
    As I read your post I was curious if you happen to keep a journal with all your prayers, wonderings and thoughts for your coming daughters? What a blessing for them to one day read of your faithfulness before they even arrived.

    May you find yourself squarely in the embrace of the Father so He can make even this in-between time a season of beauty!


  3. While I don’t have babies waiting for me on the other side of the globe, I do have that “in between” feeling. And it’s tough. It feels like limbo, doesn’t it? I’m trying to remember that pauses in music, the space where no notes appear, simply add to the glory of the song as a whole. That’s what this waiting is for me, a big pause, a pause with so much beautiful purpose.

  4. What a wonderful story, and yet so heart-wrenching at the same time! Some friends of ours are in that ‘waiting’ period as well, getting closer and closer to bringing their boys home from Bulgaria. We have an adopted son from South Africa, though we never had to endure that waiting period. Praise God for your desire to adopt, and may He fill your heart soon and very soon with an abundance of blessings!

  5. How crazy that my in between is echoed in yours. A fellow FMFer told me about your post. As a mommy yet not, there is heartbreak in the wondering and I have had to learn quick, like you, to trust in the Father, cling to His promises for this time of waiting, not knowing, wondering and worrying about our children who are out there…somewhere…when we so wish they would be here now. And there is no good way of explaining this to others sometimes. Let’s stick together!

    Thank you so much for sharing. There is comfort in knowing we aren’t alone in this.

    • I just got a chance to read your post this morning while on vacation in California. Your words brought tears to my eyes & yet a gratefulness to know of another mommy in the in between. I agree let’s stick together!

  6. Beautifully written. No matter where those babies are – HE IS WITH THEM. As my pastor always says to us parents (and that includes YOU, at least in heart, if not yet in hands) that God doesn’t have grandkids. They are His, too. I cannot fathom the yearning your heartstrings are under right now. But, I give HIM glory for how it has turned you to cling to Him even more. Parenting, as I’m sure you’ve heard, is the most stressful, beautiful, challenging, encouraging, selfless, sleepless role a person can take. Ever. It teaches us so much about our Heavenly Father and so much about our true selves. May your wait not be one second longer than His will requires. May you be floored at HOW He deliver them into your hands. So, like Gideon who had 32,000 in his army and then was left with only 300….so that God alone can receive the glory. Thank you for opening your heart and sharing with us. Love, love.

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