“To be fully present with our families and with God, we have to choose to be intentional” is what I heard a wise woman say not too long ago. Those words could never have come at a more opportune time for me. 2012 was an emotional year and I did not choose intentionality. Instead I chose mindless activities to help me get through my tough days. Like so many others, I drowned my uncertainty and doubts in tv watching, eating, then exercising, and social media. Thankfully, God is a God of grace and mercy and He did not let me stay in my mess. And thankfully, I have a husband who cares enough to not let me sulk. I was not present very often with Jason last year because of how I was so focused on my infertility issues and my unmet desire to have children. The month of December was a month of discovery and repentance of my selfishness. I’ve come to realize that my desire for children is good, but right now God has called me to be a wife, a friend, a sister, a daughter and a child of God. I am not a mom right now and that is okay! Through this process, I knew that 2013 needed to look different. I couldn’t put all of my energy and focus on something that I wasn’t. I needed to live with intentionality or else I was going to fall right back into the same rut. And more than likely, this will be my last year without anyone calling me “Mommy”. I want this year to help, not hinder the changes that will be coming soon.
So how will I live with intention in 2013? I’m limiting my tv time to only watching it with Jason. During all of the time that my day now has I’m planning on reading, cooking, sewing, blogging, creating a warm environment at home, and spending time with mom’s or watching their kids while they run errands, & resting in the Lord’s presence. That last one will be the hardest for me because I am not good at being “still”. My prayer is that through my intentional times of being “still“, God will begin to chip away at the junk that has been hanging on in my heart. I’ll also be memorizing Romans 1, 8, & 12 this year with Ann Voskamp‘s scripture memory group.
I am also wanting to be intentional with my marriage and my role as Jason’s wife. Each month I am planning on focusing on one aspect to improve my role as his wife (prayer, encouragement, service, intimacy, etc).
Some of my friends have asked what tools I’m using to help structure my day and the main tool that I’m using to help plan my day so that I am intentional is the Daily Docket from Simple Mom’s blog.
Choosing my 2013 word for the year was refreshing and energizing. I feel more focused and ready, but I also don’t feel overwhelmed with all that I have to do. So, I encourage you to spend some time praying over how God wants 2013 to look for you. How can you make this year a year that you can look back on and say that your relationship with God and with His people deepened? How can this be a year that you don’t feel frazzled and overwhelmed when December comes along? What boundaries need to be set up? What relationships should you pour into or what relationships should you pull back from? Are you spending too much time doing meaningless activities like I did? Who can you ask for help? Remember that God is a God of grace and mercy. He will reveal to you patterns in your life that need to be changed and He will help you through His Holy Spirit to make those changes happen.
But this I call to mind,
and therefore I have hope:
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
“therefore I will hope in him.”
The Lord is good to those who wait for him,
to the soul who seeks him.